I have officially, as of this day, captured from my sibling (you know who you are!) the ultimate in fashion headgear and most-coveted title: THE QUEEN OF KLUTZ! Long held by a member of my family (whose middle name is Accident), I have come upon ownership of this title quite unexpectedly! Let’s just say, I sprained my left wrist, bungeeing jumping over Havasupai Falls–ok, so it wasn’t that; it must have been free-falling from the former Sears Tower? No, that wasn’t it–must have been that parasailing over Lake Powell–nooo, it wasn’t that! Ok, I fell off my stripper pole during last night’s finale…NO? Truth is, I was loading my dishwasher and had a teeny weeny dizzy spell and YEP, fell into the open dishwasher. Home alone, awkwardly sprawled over the door (nearly breaking it at the same time!) I thought: OH GOSH, is THIS how a refined, sophisticated gal like me buys the farm??? Falling in a dishwasher!?! NOOO…So I picked myself up and checked myself out and although I had tremendous pain in my left wrist, there was no blood and there were no broken appendages…phew!
However, I did believe the left wrist was broken, which is only fair, since almost exactly two years ago I broke my RIGHT wrist in a fall! So I hauled myself off to the Ortho Doc the next day for Xrays that showed no broken bones, but a definite sprain. Grrrrr….a hand brace for at least 4-6 weeks…
I have had fun telling unsuspecting friends and family that I DID indeed fall off a stripper pole and watching them chuckle. However, the ultimate humiliation occurred at the next visit to my family doctor. Sporting a wrist brace, I sat patiently waiting for him to enter. Dr. M has been my family doc for almost 30 years, so he knows me quite well. When he walked in, wearing his reading glasses perched on the tip of his nose, he looked at me and said
“Well, what happened to you?”
“Fell off my stripper pole a few days ago,” I said totally expressionless.
Then the good doctor looked at me from my feet to the top of my head and said:
“Ain’t you a little old for a stripper pole?”
That’s my story and I’m stripping, err.. I mean STICKING to it!
The New Queen of Klutz